Ok. All of you guys seem to be convinced that M has undiagnosed BPD. While I’m inclined to agree that it’s likely, I’m cautious of labeling and stigmatizing based on limited data. I’m not a professional in the fields of neurology, psychology, psychiatry, or human behavioral conditions. Yes, I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express but I don’t think that qualifies me to go around saying “hrmmm you have XYZ condition because the internet told me so”.

I do think it’s helpful to discuss the link between her behaviors and the behaviors of others with BPD because so many of you have expressed that you have BPD and were basically her in you relationships with your autistic partner or that you were the autistic partner of someone with BPD.

This discussion brought up the question of why it seems that so many women with BPD seem to be in relationships with men with autism. My therapist had a theory that it relates to the structure and regimented nature of those with autism in contrast with the emotional chaos that comes from BPD. I don’t know. What I do know is that the responses I got to my poem when I posted it, makes much more sense now.

When people responded with things like “oh my goodness! This is my story!” I was confused. The ones that said “ok, let me guess: She has an abusive ex and her mother neglected her…” and the like really freaked me out but now I get it.