I am dealing with the realization that M never loved me the way the claimed. I’m ok with that. It sucks and it hurts like hell but I’m really ok with it. What I’m not ok with is the time I wasted with her. She never had the capacity to really understand me and what I was going through and she was incredibly entitled and selfish. I think if I’d shown her this video and observed her behavior with me I would have been able to identify that she could never be the partner that I wanted or the partner she told me she would be to/with/for me.