A question I got right after posting this is “Don’t you think you’re cutting her off [from blessings] by not allowing her to repent?”

I’m going to ignore the religious overtones in the question because I see that as a particularly pernicious form of guilt baiting. Let’s instead focus on the ability for someone to be complete that seeks to atone for their behavior because I think it covers what the core of the question is. If you disagree, feel free to re-ask the question for clarification. I don’t put stock into group guilt bullshit whether it’s this religion or that.

Short answer: Yes.

I do believe that not allowing someone to atone can have a negative impact on them coming to terms with what they have done and moving on.

Fuller answer: Maybe, if she actually wanted to atone. She’s shown zero capacity to take accountability for her shit so to me this is a hypothetical question. Everybody seems to be reading wayyyy too much into her text message. Also, it’s not my job to help you unfuck your fuckery. If you can’t move past what you did as the perpetrator why do I, as the target, need to help you? That’s not my job. It’s great when it works out but understand that it’s not your obligation to make your bully feel better. It’s not your job to help your abuser get over the fact that they abused you. If you can do it safely then you may want to consider it because it can be beneficial for the both of you if you can reach genuine understanding. It’s also fraught with peril so you should proceed with caution and awareness. I choose to proceed without her in my life. Plain and simple.