M. and I used to love listening to funk, soul, disco-funk, etc. like Gap Band, Isley Brothers, etc. I found out a while back that Earth Wind and Fire was going to be performing at SummerFest and thought “hey I’ll surprise her with a trip to see them”. She ended things between us the week of the 7th, the show is this Friday (the 30th).

I figured I’d go by myself or maybe take a date. It had been a minute since I listened to any of that music so I started up Gap Band Radio on Pandora and immediately started crying. M. had this dorky/adorable way of smiling when her favorite songs came on and a stupid neck and shoulder dance that I’d give a limb to see again.

I’m pissed that she ended things and wouldn’t talk to me. I know that she jumped to conclusions born out of fear and trauma and her own inability to accept what I told her about my neurology. I thought that closing the chapter on being concerned about her and her feelings would make me better able to deal with all the little things that remind me of her. I was wrong.

I’m standing in my office typing this on my iPad with tears running down my face just thinking about all the time we spent together and how I miss putting y arms around her while listening to Earth Wind and Fire.