Someone from the main autism group I’m in suggested that I script a conversation with M. I guess the idea is to have the conversation that I wish we’d had before things got to the point of no return. A number of people said it helped them get closure by having the conversation they were denied because their abuser(s) cut them off once they realized that there was no supply there anymore.

Part of me feels like it’s silly and part of me is willing to try anything to get past these waves of emotional agony about someone who didn’t care enough about me and about her words to me (“I am with you… Your are safe with me”) to have a conversation before taking unilateral action to kick me out of our home.

I go from resolved to not give a fuck to completely distraught. If this shit will help get past that, I’m game. it just feels weird. I’m on both sides of the conversation. Do I just write it out? Do I record it as if I was talking to her? Do I hire someone to play her part? I’m so confused and anxious.