Hey there, it’s a bit odd; me writing after a month of basically zero contract with M. During that time I’ve been trying to figure out who I am as a person and obsessively analyzing what happened in the breakdown of our relationship. This letter is intended to serve two purposes. The first is to…

I can’t shake the feeling that I’m failing my community by not getting over this breakup. It’s been a month and I’m still fixated on the way the breakup happened and the fact that M won’t communicate with me when all of this could have been avoided if she’d just communicated with me openly and…

For the majority of my life my autism has been the thing I hide to get along in the “normal” world. I’ve been so good at hiding is that people don’t believe me when I tell them that I’m autistic. On the surface this may seen like a good thing. The unfortunate result many times…

This is the 7/4 therapy session. We were supposed to have a session today (7/6) but there was a scheduling conflict that came up so we pushed it to Saturday.

To those checking on me, thank you. It’s hard sometimes to get past the inertial friction of just NOT doing anything. Some days I wake up super motivated and then some days I just want to shut my eyes and let the world continue on without my participation. To my tribe, thank you for holding…

There are a bunch of things we didn’t get to cover but the broad strokes hit the mark(s). I really needed this session. It helped give me perspective and to bolster some thoughts I’d had about certain behaviors. First Therapy Session to get past shit with M

Ok. Today I got up feeling like maybe I can actually get something done. I have a couple of servers that I need to configure and ship out. I have an afternoon appointment with my psychotherapist to discuss getting past this recent traumatic event (the break up with M.) and then maybe I’ll get to…

I was a dick to M after she ended things. I’m not proud of what I did but here let’s get it all out in the open. There that’s the list of intentionally shitty things I did after she kicked me out of our home. I’ve apologized. I tried to explain to her that I…

“When are you going to trust me?” That’s what M asked me one day when I told her that I want to compliment her on her looks and tell her how sexy she is constantly but that I have an apprehension that it will come across wrong because of my alexithymia (emotional blindness). It was…